“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare
“In dance, no movement or direction is better or worse than another. This, too, is a way to view all of life. See all the ‘good and bad’ things that happen to you simply as movements in the dance of life.” Zen wisdom
“Nothing is anything until I make it something.” T. Harv Eker
These sayings pretty much all convey the same message: the stuff that happens to us in life doesn’t mean anything until we give it meaning. If a customer says no to me, all it means is a customer said no to me. But if I add on “What’s the matter with him/her/me? I’m no good at sales. They’re stupid” or anything else that I make up in my head, I’ve now made their no into something else. If you must make up something, at least make up something great, such as “Wow! They said no. That means I’m that much closer to my next yes!” But even that’s made up, though it’s better than the previous examples.
This really hit home today as I was talking with a coaching client. She was explaining to me why she hadn’t made her sales calls as promised and said that all of her personal problems were preventing her from being real and authentic and she felt like she was living a double life. After listening a bit further, it occurred to me that she had “collapsed” her personal story and her business story into one great big mess. “I’m having personal problems, therefore I can’t sell.” Once this was pointed out to her, and I explained what I was observing, she realized that even though she had these things going on in her personal life and they had to be dealt with, they were separate and distinct from her ability to run her business.
Where, if anywhere, are you adding meaning where none exists? Where are you collapsing one part of your life with another in a “negative” way, or better said, in a non-supportive way? Let me know what you see over the next few days via email, and I will respond back. Thanks!